Deadpool vs Scaramouch
Deadpool vs Scaramouch is a what if Death Battle written by QuasimodoBellringer/Sailor RWBY. It is the 4th episode of his second season and 14th overall. It features Deadpool from Marvel against Scaramouch from Samurai Jack Description Two talkative and comedic assassins collide. Interlude Wiz: To be an assassin, one must be calm, collected, and most of all quiet. Boomstick: Unless you're these two. Wiz: Deadpool, the Merc With a Mouth... Boomstick: ...and Scaramouch, the Assassin with the Sassin'. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick... Wiz: ...and it's our job to analyze their armor, weapons, and skill to find who would win a Death Battle! Deadpool Wiz: Originally created as a parody of DC's Deathstroke, Deadpool's origin is not as lighthearted as his joking nature would make you think. Boomstick: Born as Wade Wilson, he had dreams of becoming the next big superhero, until he was diagnosed with cancer. Wiz: After this Wade gave up. He abandoned his dreams, quit his job, and dumped his girlfriend to save her from having to be with a man doomed to die. But soon, he was given hope when the Weapon X Program offered to cure him. Boomstick: However, as it turns out, they instead wanted to just use him as a lab rat. They injected him with Wolverine's healing factor, and with his body now able to regenerate from anything he became the perfect experiment. At least.....until he murdered his way to freedom. Wiz: After that, he became a mercenary for hire, working on both sides of the system, depending on who was willing to pay him. However, the experiments had left a little....side effect. Deadpool: Hellooooooo Death Battle! Wiz: Oh god damn it, he's back. It left him insane and able to see past the fourth wall. Though some versions claim that it's because Loki told him he's a comic character as a joke, with Loki not realizing it was actually true. Deadpool: I heard you were talking about me and had to show up to make sure you don't get any details wrong. So where are we at? Boomstick: Well, we were just about to get to your abilities. Deadpool: Oh, where to start? I have katanas, guns, grenades, shurikens, all that good stuff. Wiz: Yes. Deadpool has access to pretty much any weapon he desires, due to his access to a pocket dimension called hammerspace, and is a master with pretty much any weapon he touches. And a nuisance to those he faces. Deadpool: What did you say?! Wiz: Oh, I was just talking about that...uh...teleportation belt of yours. Deadpool: Oh that? Yeah, I picked this up on one of my adventures. You see, I can teleport short distances with this belt! Boomstick: Perfect for dodging bullets, punches, and pretty much anything. It also helps in stealth attacks. Now, Deadpool, get out of here. There is only room for one comic relief around here. Deadpool: And how are you going to make me? Wiz: Damn it. Deadpool: Thought so. Now, how about we talk about what makes me pretty much invincible! Boomstick: Oh, yeah. Remember how Wolverine's healing factor was injected into Deadpool? Well, while it failed to cure his cancer, it's just his healing factor replaces the cells faster than it can kill him. Wiz: And some could argue it turned him INTO cancer. Deadpool: You know I can kill you, right? Boomstick: It is somehow even stronger than Wolvie's! Deadpool can be decapitated, melted down, and even have an entire skyscraper fall on him, and he'll be back up and fighting in only a few minutes. Deadpool: That's right. I am pretty much immortal. In fact I literally was for a while, thanks to Thanos. Wiz: Deadpool's feats are impressive. He has managed to take down an army of ninjas while talking on the phone, defeated Taskmaster... Deadpool: Who, I might add was defeated by my greatest power, the power of dance! Wiz: More like your so insane that, that even YOU have no idea what you are going to do next. It's pretty much the only way you can beat a guy who literally has the power to predict your next move. Deadpool: Whatever, I'm awesome and you know it. Boomstick: And that is Deadpool's biggest weakness. Wiz: His ego. Deadpool: What? Wiz: You see Deadpool, years of immortality has trained you to think you are invincible. Due to this you just let yourself take hit after hit, not caring what comes your way. Your sloppy when it comes to defence. Boomstick: Yeah. You are willing to get shot in the face, just to show off. Deadpool: So what. That's because I pretty much '''am' invincible.'' Wiz: But against a clever enough opponent you can easily be outsmarted, and even outmatched. Deadpool: Let's face it though. I can kill everyone in the Marvel universe... Boomstick: Oh god damm it. Even I know that was Dreadpool! Deadpool: Still I defeated him and stole his sweet sword. Wiz: That does not mean you can beat all the people he beat. But if you were to stop being so sloppy, you could ACTUALLY be seen as a threat by the other superheroes. (Deadpool: Guns don't kill people, I kill people!) Scaramouch Wiz: Samurai Jack has faced many bots in his day. From giant beetles, to ninjas, to even giant mechs. But few are as musically gifted as Scaramouch. Boomstick: This robot assassin with the voice of Spongebob is one of Aku's greatest assassins. He even held the title of number one assassin of Aku's for a while. Yes, that includes other legendary foes like Demongo! Wiz: Scaramouche first encountered Samurai Jack, after luring him in by decimating an entire village. Boomstick: I guess that's one way to get senpai to notice you. Wiz: After luring in Jack, Scaramouche decided to actually make some small talk before killing him. However this soon backfired as he pretty much triggered Jack. Boomstick: Yet, Scaramouche survived despite being you know, just a head. Wiz: Yes. Somehow he managed to get to Aku's palace all while nothing more than a talking head. From trickery, manipulation and even sheer dumb luck. Boomstick: Scaramouch is incredibly powerful and among the most dangerous bots that Samurai Jack has ever faced. Wiz: With his flute, Scaramouch is capable of manipulating the very environment around him. From sending massive boulders hurling into the air, to even creating golems from debris. Boomstick: But even without his flute, Scaramouche has another ability. His singing. Wiz: Well, it's more like scatting. Boomstick: I say tomato, you say to-ma-to. Wiz: Anyway, by scatting Scaramouch is capable of manipulating objects to his will. Whether it be swords or rocks, inanimate objects are pretty much like the mice of the pied piper. Boomstick: But his blade might be one of the most incredible weapons I have ever seen! Wiz: This tuning fork blade may look like a simple dagger, but it is in fact, capable of disrupting the molecular stability of objects causing them to explode. Boomstick: Yes, this man has a sword that makes things fucking explode!!! Need to update my best sword list. But what to remove? Wiz: Uh, boomstick, we have to finish the analysis. Boomstick: Oh, right. Scaramouch is tough enough to survive a fight with Samurai Jack, who is capable of destroying armies of bots with little effort. Wiz: As we said before Scaramouch managed to make his way to Aku's Palace while only a head. In fact, Scaramouch is capable of taking over other objects by placing his head over theirs! Boomstick: He is also fast enough to keep up with Samurai jack, who is capable of dodging sunlight. However, Scaramouch suffers from a serious flaw too. If his head is chopped off he is no longer able to control objects via scatting. Wiz: However, this meistro of mayheme is one person you don't want to cross. (Scaramouch: You can never stop the musical magic that is me, babe!) Fight Deadpool is seen walking out of a portal into a desolate town. Walking into a nearby bar Deadpool is quickly thrown out and is tossed directly into a robot who is about to kill a young woman. The woman runs in the confusion as Deadpool and Scaramouche get back up. Scaramouch: What is your deal babe? Thanks to you my target has gotten away, Do dee da la. Scaramouche pulled out his tuning fork sword, and pointed it at Deadpool. Scaramouch: Any last words, babe? Deadpool: Yeah, Cable must of messed up the time machine pretty bad this time. Sorry, but i have to be going. Scaramouch: Oh, it's to late for that babe. Might as well show you why I am the ultimate assassin. Deadpool: Well, that's nice and all, but I've got to...wait...hold on. I'm the ultimate assassin. Scaramouch: Are you number one on the bossman's list? I didn't think so. Deadpool: The bossman? Don't know who he is but he must be an idiot if he hires people who dress like you. Scaramouch: Says the guy dressed in leather. So tacky, babe. Deadpool: You did not just dis the suit. Scaramouch: Oh, but I did, babe. Deadpool: ......you just sealed your fate. Scaramouch: Well come at me, let me show you why I am Aku's best assassin. FIGHT!!! Deadpool pulled out is guns and fired, killing a few civilians as Saramouch dodged. Scaramouch: Nice try, babe. But you can't hit me with a mere gun! Deadpool: Oh yeah! Deadpool continues to fire as Scaramouche dodges each bullet. Deadpool teleports behind Scaramouch and slices at him with a Katana. Scaramouch: OW! Oh, so you can now teleport. Well, this might be interesting. Scaramouch swings his tuning fork blade and he and Deadpool collide blades. Slashing at one another, their blades clanged and clanged, as they continued. Suddenly Deadpool's katana's began to vibrate, and suddenly exploded, sending shratnal of the blade into him, slicing off his arm. Deadpool picked it up and reactatched it and looked up and saw Scaramouch standing on a roof, holding a flute. Deadpool: What? Are you going to music me to death? Scaramouch: I guess you could say that. He then began to play the flute and suddenly the rubble of a recently demolished building began to move, forming a massive golem. Deadpool turned and saw the monster and screamed. The golem slammed down it's fist, but Deadpool teleported out of the way. Pulling out a bomb he threw it and knocked off the golem's left arm, which quickly reassembled. Deadpool: Alright Brain, any ideas? Deadpool's Brain: Why the hell is that guy not paniking? Deadpool: Yeah. He is just there playing his flute. That dick! I'll show him! Deadpool teleported to the building Scaramouch was standing on, and kicked the flute out of his hands before firing a barrage of bullets at it, destroying the magical instrument. Suddenly the golem crumbled to pieces. Deadpool: Huh? Guess the golem only showed up to hear your shitty music. Scaramouche: Oh, no babe. You did not just call the maestro of mayhem's music poor? Look's like I'll have to show ya who's boss, babe! Do dee da la da le de! Deadpool: Scatting, what's that supposed to...ack! Deadpool looked down and saw the tuning fork blade stabbed into his gut. Scaramouch, grabbed it and the two colided in a sword fight, as Deadpool brought out his spare blades. Again they exploded. Scaramouch: Da lee le do la do de le la The pieces of Deadpool's extra swords began to fly around, in the form of a tornado around him. Slicing and dicing away at him. Scaramouch them slammed his dagger against Deadpool, multiple times. Suddenly Deadpool's body began to vibrate as the effects of the tuning dagger took effect. Scaramouch walked off as Deadpool exploded. Scaramouch: Told ya, babe. You can't stop the musical magic that is me! As Scaramouch walks away, the pieces of Deadpool began to move. His arm crawled over and assembled his parts back together, as he pulled out a shuriken. Throwing it, he sliced off Scaramouch's head. Walking over to it he picked it up. Deadpool: You would look great on my wall! Scaramouch: Oh god no. Deadpool: Oh and you can talk still? Cool, I always wanted one of those singing fish! KO!!! Deadpool is seen meeting up with Cable, having made Scaramouch's head into a wall decoration. Results Wiz: Ugh. Will he ever die? Deadpool: Not likely. Now tell them why I won while I hang up my new trophy! Boomstick: I feel so bad for Scaramouch's head. Wiz: While Scaramouch was more durable, faster, and more powerful, Deadpool has survived far worse than his golem and has been blown up before. So it is likely he could take anything Scaramouch could dish out. Boomstick: Scaramouch may have had most of the advantages, but Deadpool's healing, put him a-head. Wiz: The winner is Deadpool. Next Time A mallet is seen slamming down, as a jester-girl takes the scene. Suddenly the scene changes to a girl with orange hair with a chess piece on her head. Harley Quinn vs Nora Valkyrie ' Do you agree with the results of Deadpool vs Scaramouch? Yes No ' Category:QuasimodoBellringer Category:'Comedy' themed Death Battles Category:Assassin Vs. Assassin Themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles with a returning combatant Category:'Anti-Hero vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Cartoon Network vs Marvel Category:'Comic Books vs. TV Shows' themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'Disney vs. Warner Bros' themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles with a Returning OMM Combatant Category:What-If? 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